Unbidden Praise

IMG_9093…is so awesome becomes it comes so unexpectedly.

Today I was walking through town on my way to get groceries. A friend who was in town to get mail saw me and we walked through the Farmer’s Market to catch up quickly. She went over to the San Juan County Fair yesterday, on the “big island” and ran into our old writing teacher, and a man who once came over to talk to our class. This was over three years ago, during our last class in Spring ’04. He gave a talk on self-publishing and then (apparently, I barely remember this) stayed to listen to us read our work. I’ve never seen him since.

So my friend ran into him yesterday at the fair, and told me that he said to her, “Oh I remember your class. There was this young, tall, blond girl. She was such a fabulous writer.”

Since everyone in the class was older than me by decades (some of them by many decades) and no one was even close to blond, we assumed he meant me. When my friend told me this, I was blown away. I was really just starting then.

Not starting to write – I started that when I was in elementary school, but I was just starting to get back to it after years of some crazy life experiences (stories for other days, for sure) and just starting to write memoir. Wow! That made my day.

I almost feel like I’m in a charmed moment in my writing life. After all the good things at the conference, with random people telling me they like my writing, and now this. If ever I wasn’t certain that this is what I’m meant to do (well actually, I’m not sure I believe in that concept, or at least I enjoy questioning and exploring it), and I have had moments of doubt, I am more certain than ever now.

And it couldn’t come at a more opportune time. I am seriously thinking, okay planning on returning to school to get my Bachelor’s degree, and maybe go on to grad school after that. There are writers I’d soooo love to study with. I am hungry to improve my writing, to get feedback, to be CHALLENGED to write better, more vividly, more clearly, more honestly, more deeply, more rawly and more gorgeously. I am also excited about taking non-writing classes too. I always liked having a mix. Fuck, I’d be psyched to take math (I’ve always loved it) or something scientific here and there just to balance out my right brain/left brain split.

My one hang-up is that I blew off school my last semester, during one of those moments of doubt, to put it mildly, and during a time when a need for adventure and independence overtook any notion of going to class. So I’m worried my poor grades my last semester will deter me from getting accepted at school, and all this unasked-for praise, or comments on my writing ability really have me floored, in a good way, like, yes, I can do this.

I sketched out my admissions essay just now, and feel great about it. I am so ready for this new phase of life, wherever it might take me.

I just hope there’s not another shoe, waiting in the wings to drop at some amazingly inopportune moment.

~Emilia J

Currently listening:
My huge brown puppy rearranging herself on her doggie bed

Advertisements

One thought on “Unbidden Praise

  1. It’s the unexpected praise that brings such joy. There always is another shoe. When it falls, just feed it to your dog – they love to chew on ’em, the tougher the better. Peace, Linda

What do YOU think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s