It’s strange because I have felt kind of out of touch lately. I haven’t wanted to read tarot for people because I feel sort of detached, disconnected from whatever it is – universal energy, the collective unconscious, cosmic forces, whatever deeper, nonverbal thing I usually tap into while reading cards. I feel almost out of touch w/myself. I know I’m coming out of it, but it’s still there, residually.
So I feel off, inaccurate, scattered and out of touch when it comes to things like tarot, but give me movies and TV and I am ON IT, figuring out all the plot twists way ahead of time. The other weekend, a friend and I went to see 21, which is based on a true story about some MIT kids who counted cards. I liked the movie a lot, it was a great story, and I happen to really love numbers, and also anything about geniuses. I mean, that’s a huge part of why I love House. So I was really fascinated by the whole concept of counting cards, kinda wanted to learn how to do it just to see if I could, if I have the mental capacity to be able to do it. So we’re watching the movie and I kept leaning over and telling my friend what was going to happen. It wasn’t a wholly unpredictable movie, so it’s not like super impressive, but still. I can’t really explain it, I just feel kind of on top of my game, really noticing subtle clues.
And actually, the same thing has been happening with House, which makes me feel really awesome, because that show is really unpredictable in some ways. I mean there are certain formulas the episodes follow, but anything you think you know could just as easily turns around and upside down, and part of why I love it so much is that it’s such a smart show, and usually way over my head, at least medically. But when the show first came back for three episodes, starting in late January, I was way ahead of the game for the first one. It’s an episode called “It’s a Wonderful Life” – it was a Christmas episode, and when House did a Secret Santa, I knew immediately that he was putting his own name in five times. Later, I knew when the patient was lying and what her secret was before House figured it out.
Last night’s episode, “House’s Head” was a doozy. It reminded me of the season 2 finale, called “No Reason,” because some of the episode is in hallucinations. That was the case with last night’s as well. House is involved in a bus crash and can’t remember it, but he knows he saw a symptom of someone in real medical trouble. In true House fashion, when he regains awareness (the beginning of the episode), he’s at a strip club. So he spends most of the episode trying to remember who he saw and what the symptom was. He undergoes hypnosis, tries to hold all the people in the ER there by faking a meningitis scare so he can study them, has his team comb through all the files of everyone admitted, tries to reenact the bus scene so to jar his mind, takes alzheimer’s meds to help him remember. The whole storyline really appealed to me massively.
But I figured it out waaaaaaaaaaay ahead of time, who it was that he saw. It just clicked into place for me. There was something Wilson (House’s best friend) said about someone, and then something he said about the bus driver, who for most of the episode, is the person House thought he saw with a symptom before the crash. That went on for so long I started to think I was wrong with my guess, but I wasn’t. This probably won’t make sense to anyone who hasn’t seen the episode, but oh well. I felt really high on figuring it out, solving the mystery, picking up on the subtle clues.
Still though, if I had to draw a conclusion about all of this, it would be that there are MUCH better uses for my mental abilities than predicting the outcomes of TV shows and movies, and I must be somewhat intellectually bored. It’s definitely true. I need more mental stimulation. I remember when Alanis’ Jagged Little Pill first came out (wow, second post in a row mentioning that album), I was fourteen, and I just LOVED the line, “All I need now is intellectual intercourse.” That’s a good way to put it.
One place where I wasn’t quite so “on” was reading The Kite Runner. From the first sentence of the book, you know there is an event that changes the main character, Amir, forever. And you get the growing suspicion that this event involves something really bad happening to his friend Hassan, and I was dreading reading on, imagining all sorts of horrible things, and didn’t actually “get” what was going to happen until like a paragraph before. In a way, though my guesses were more physically scary (I thought the guy was going to get killed or something), in a way what actually happens in the book is worse. And the aftermath, though more subtle, more small, is even more devastating. What a book. I’m not even close to halfway done yet. It’s fucking intense. I’m reading it mostly on break at work and it’s hard to read it without crying. I’d definitely recommend it though. It’s a great book, just not the easiest on the heart, but sometimes that’s good. Really gives you a lot to think about and explore about the human condition.
“Accidental Babies” – Damien Rice – funny, when I first heard this song, I hated it. Not like it didn’t grab me kinda thing, but like actively disliked it. I thought it was silly, and almost pretentiously intimate. Now, it’s one of my favorite songs on 9 Crimes. I love the line, “Does he drive you wild, or just mildly free?” It’s an important question, not just about lovers but about life. I want my life to drive me wild, but at the moment, it’s a lot more like mildly free. Which means there’s a lot to consider and contemplate, which I relish.